New Year - New You?! We've heard that one before.......maybe there's a different approach?

The start of a New Year presents a great opportunity to kick-start a change in your life.

Almost 60% of the UK population will make a New Year's Resolution for 2023!!

That's over 30 million people trying to better themselves in some way, however almost 80%, or
24 million of those will have ditched their resolution before the 1st February!

So why do so many resolutions fail? Here are just a few of the reasons (in our experience);

• The resolution focusses on the outcome, not the process.
• The resolution is vague (e.g. get fitter, lose weight, work harder, travel more...)
• We don't set milestones / goals that allow us to measure progress & celebrate success
• We don't really believe we can achieve our goal(s)
• We try and "do it alone"

Knowing this, what should you do differently if you want to nail your resolution for this coming year?

1. Take control of your self-talk!
Find the positives in any given situation, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react. Become aware of your personal "negativity traps" and start to take positive action to change the narrative.
2. Focus on the journey, not the goal.
Visualisation is one of the most powerful tools for the "onboarding" of your subconscious mind, visualise the journey from where you are today to your destination. Focus on how it will feel and how you will overcome any obstacles along the way. Once you are unconsciously "bought in" success along your journey will become inevitable.
3. Align your goal with your purpose.
Make sure your goal is aligned with something that really matters to you, the most powerful goals are those that are aligned with our inner purpose. For example, if you want to set a health goal then visualise how it will improve your ability to keep up with your kids, be more present.......
4. Make your goal realistic and break it down into manageable chunks.
Choosing a "stretch" goal is important, if the goal is too easy to achieve then we will achieve it quickly then become bored. Equally if a goal is so far out there that we don't believe it is possible to reach then interest quickly wanes.
Whatever goal you do set, the key to achieving it is having the ability to check regularly whether you are on-track in an objective manner, celebrate the wins and create new plans to recover losses!! Goals that are broken down and tracked on a weekly basis are 75% more likely to be met.
5. Involve others!
You've heard that a problem shared is a problem halved, right?! Well, a goal shared is 65% more likely to be achieved. Create accountability for yourself by;

• Sharing your goals publicly with others
• Finding others with similar goals to share a journey with
• Finding an accountability partner who will positively encourage you in your pursuit

Read on for more information..........

1. Take control of your self-talk!
Forget New Year's Resolutions, taking control of your self-talk can be life changing.

Self-talk is our internal narrative and is influenced by our subconscious mind, and is indicative of our thoughts, beliefs, questions, and ideas. Whether we are aware of it, or not, our internal narrative is responsible for how we feel and act in any given situation which, in-turn determines the outcome.

It is the negative self-talk that gets in our way, those of us that focus mainly on the negative are often referred to as "pessimists" although pessimists like to call themselves "realists" which in itself proves the theory that our self-talk controls our perspective!!

Self-talk falls into 4 general categories;

• Personalising- Blaming ourself for everything.
• Magnifying- Focussing on only the negatives in a situation, regardless of the positives.
• Catastrophising- Always expecting the worst, despite and logical reasoning to the contrary.
• Polarising- Everything is either good or bad, there is no "in-between" or grey area.

Becoming aware of your types of negative self-talk is key to addressing them and shifting to a positive narrative. Try some of the following tips to shift your internal narrative:

• Set your morning alarm 5 minutes earlier and use those minutes to think about all the positive things you can achieve that day. Think about what challenges may lie ahead and how you are going to conquer those challenges with a positive mindset.
• Shift your situational perspective - e.g. From: "I've never done this before, i'll be rubbish at it" --> To: "This will be a great opportunity to learn".
• Check-in with your feelings more regularly, start by diarising 5 minutes per day for yourself - you wouldn't miss an appointment with somebody else so why not even set one with yourself?! Great times are the end of the working day, or early evening when all distractions have been dealt with.
• Find positive people to surround yourself with - thanks to our social nature we take on the emotions of those around us.

Changing self-talk is a gradual process, as it requires the building of new habits, but the transformative power is so great it's a totally worthwhile investment!

To create an emotional attachment to the goal we are trying to achieve it's necessary to feel what will need to be overcome along the way. Without clarity of the steps required along the way our goal can feel lofty, confusing, and frustrating.

Possibly the most underrated skill of high-performing people is their ability to visualise the journey to success. By this we mean re-creating the images, sounds and environments in our minds-eye before they happen ready for processing by the subconscious brain. This practice has been used for centuries to prepare the conscious mind and body for upcoming challenges and situations and has been scientifically proven to be successful.

When setting out the challenge ahead, it can be useful to focus first on some of the things that you will need to stop doing before working on the things you need to start or continue. For example, you may need to stop procrastinating on social media if you want to start writing a daily input in your diary.

When we accept that success is a journey, not an outcome it allows us to reflect on the successes along the way and focus on the things that did and didn't work for us. This priceless information can be used to better prepare us for conquering the next challenge.

3. Align your goal with your purpose.
A goal that doesn't speak to our beliefs and values is difficult for us to get emotionally wedded to, who is driven by something they don't really care about?

When choosing your goal, "try on" how it would feel if you reached that goal for a good pointer as to whether it fits with your purpose. If it doesn't, ask yourself why you are choosing this goal - is it really yours or is it being put upon you by others?

4. Make your goal realistic and break it down into manageable chunks.
A goal is only realistic if;

• You are in control or can take control of its achievement.
• You are willing to go "all-in" on your commitment to achieving it.
• You have or can create the necessary time to achieve it.
• You have a plan to overcome external obstacles.
• Success can be measured.

Once you have determined your realistic goals, the key to success comes from regular review of performance vs plan. Break the goal down into daily or weekly milestones so that you can quickly determine how well you are progressing. Celebrate the wins, give yourself credit for doing a great job! Where deviations are occurring, ask yourself the necessary questions such as;

• "Did I really stick to my plan?"
• "Was I fully committed this week?"
• "What unforeseen challenges came up this week?"

After understanding the reasons for poor performance, update your plan to get back on track and think about any new challenges that may come up based on these new insights.

Keeping a diary, and creating progress charts are great ways to encourage these important reflections.

5. Involve others!
It's a fact.....we are 65% more likely to meet a goal after making a commitment to someone else, and a carefully selected accountability partner can play a substantial role in your motivation to stick to your resolutions. Be sure to select someone who brings energy, you'll need encouragement, not sympathy when you're feeling down!!

If your goal involves exercise, regularly scheduled activity, increasing savings or suchlike don't underestimate the role of the "Ulysses Pact." The Ulysses Pact is a technique from behavioural psychology that allows us to make a choice in the present that commits us to an action or decision in the future, usually by means of a structured system of external constraints or incentives. Some good examples of this would be;

• Join the same gym / running club / cycling club / Weight Watchers group as a friend or colleague who has already formed the desired habit. Set up an accountability pact where you commit to meeting them on a scheduled basis (e.g. once per week). To increase accountability on your side you could buy a £50 Amazon voucher (or alike!) and if you miss a session, they get to keep it, if you don't miss a session for 3/6/12 months then you get to reward yourself!
• Set up a regular standing order from your current account to your savings account for the day after you get paid. This removes the requirement to remember every month, and takes away the "should I? / shouldn't I?" internal debate.
• If you want to spend more quality time with your family in the evenings, then leave your computer at work and put your phone in your bedroom as soon as you get home.

Thanks for reading this post, after reflecting on the points above there's only 1 question left to ask yourself: 

What's your New Year's Resolution going to be?!