We all know what they are. We all know what they feel like for us. We all know what we think they feel like for others. We all hate them. We all know that they are part of life. They are part of work.
I have had many difficult conversations in my life - with family, friends, employees, Employment Judges, obnoxious lawyers, myself … I have realised that what makes these conversations ‘difficult’ is that I anticipate animosity, confrontation, aggression and any number of other negatives.
The only person I have NOT had a difficult conversation with is my dog, because she loves me whatever I do or say (as long as I feed and cuddle her).
But there is a way of never again having a difficult conversation or having to deal with a difficult situation – with anybody.
The starting point is - what makes a situation or a conversation ‘difficult’ as opposed to ‘easy’? The very word DIFFICULT anticipates a reaction – either in us, or in the other person.
In other words, I decide if a situation or a conversation is ‘difficult’ or not. I anticipate it, I get worked up, stressed out, I worry. I talk to colleagues and before I know it, I have created a MONSTER OF DIFFICULTY.
As these monsters are created by us, they can be destroyed by us with the proverbial stake through the heart.
We can turn any ‘difficult’ situation into an ‘okay’ one, even a ‘good’ one or a ‘great’ one – if we simply get out of our way and follow a few basic rules.
If you would like to have a chat about exposing difficult conversations or situations for what they are, please get in touch.
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